1. BULLET TO BINARY

Let us die, let us die
Dying we reply
"don't talk to us about suffering,
look in our eyes".
Let us be, let us be-
Our closeness is such that
wherever she rests her head
in the softness underneath,
she'll feel me - and you will feel me.

Je leverai les yeux a toi-
J'ai change cent foi de nom
Je leverai les yeux a toi-
Je n'ai pas d'spoir.

When you laugh you'll feel my breath there
filling up your lungs. And when you cry,
those aren't your tears but I'm there
falling down your cheek.
and when you say you love him, taste me
I'm like poison on your tongue-
But when you're tired, if you're quiet,
you'll hear me singing you to sleep.


2. THE GHOST

I'll lie down for the last time
and fall well away from her
And I insist that I'll be dearly missed
(please, say never)
I'll pour down like water
In between the sky and doubt
we talked about 'forever'
and all our other useless words.

Until I say "in his silent sound was the
peace I found" but she hides behind
her eyelids. I feel the breath from
her nose on my neck as it blows by.
the warmth passes me (like her love did)
"But a tree once cut down
came up new from the ground"
she smiles a lie, "that may very well be,"
she replies "and so it goes,
it's the devil, I suppose but it doesn't matter much to me."

Put music to our troubles
and we'll dance them away.

From my left eye flow tears of joy,
of sorrow from my right.
"You might seem too strong to surrender,
boy, but you're far too frail to fight."
That old dull pain beats in my brain
it runs down my back into every limb-
And its more of the same
as the warmth that I seem to lack,
you'll neither find in him.


3. NICE AND BLUE

You were a song that I couldn't sing
you were a story I couldn't tell
I've only ever loved myself
But I've loved myself so well.
And how defeated I return!
(you're nice and blue, you're nice and blue)
I missed what I was supposed to learn
as all I learned about was missing you.

A life left half behind, though no longer
blind I can't yet see. I'm not the boy that
I once was, but I'm not the man I'll be.
I've been waiting now, for six years on
(and have only just begun)
For the day you'll hold her in your arms,
oh risen Lord, my precious one.

I was once the wine, and you the wineglass.
I was once alive, when you held me.
God became the glass,
all things left were emptiness
Oh, my little girl, if you look out
andsee a trace of dark red that used
to be my face, in the clarity of his
grace: remember me.


4. EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURT

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.

"As we melt let's make no noise
oh the profanation of our love
to tell the world our passing joys!
And we, besides, care less to miss
our eyes and lips and hands."

(but honey, I'm not who you think I am!)

"And so you'll be to me
who must obliquely run
"thy firmness makes my circle just,
and makes me end where I begun"
There's nothing wrong
as I'll be somewhere singing all along."

(no! tell me, where have you gone, my love.)


5. (A)

(Instrumental)


6. GENTLEMEN

We never met, you and I
We were always inside, we were somewhere inside
one another. And I'll live without you love,
but what good is one glove, without the other?

You only ask about my leaving,
well honey I had no choice, so
I call and (when you hear that heavy breathing)
for that sound of your voice.

But you sit there silent, folded arms
And look down as I walk by
Though my face has changed, you know it's me
You know by the stillness in my eyes.
Come and whisper in my ear, "you're very pretty,d ear" and
"it'll be alright." You're lying!
But I don't mind tonight.

So I wander and I wander
Your absence beating inside my chest
I try but I can't remember
The color of your eyes- just the shape of your dress.

And through a garden overgrown
Oh, it's a long walk home.
I said I'd not come back, well I'm coming back-
and you'd better be alone.


7. BE STILL CHILD

I said my goodbyes to the sun
my little one, so far away.
And how strange, how small we must become
yet as familiar as yesterday

The bluest iris that I'd ever seen
She vanished like a dream, sinking back
into the ground
Singing, 'Maybe I'm ashamed, and maybe I wept real tears.'
But maybe she was hiding because she wanted to be found...
You wanted to be found!

Don't be afraid of him.
Be still.


8. WE KNOW WHO OUR ENEMIES ARE

Save my skin, I need a medic
Hold me down, I'm only sewn down.
Save my teeth, show me you meant it
Catch my death, I'm only sewn together.

My eyelids are heavy, and the night's wearing on
Your story's familiar, and your innocence is gone
We'd burn like the morning then break like your heart
Fall in love without warning just to fall back apart
All fevered and blistered, with nothing at stake
I feel the warmth of her whisper, and the cold of my mistakes
Her soul in the balance, my heart in her hands
I made her a widow, she made me a man.


9. I NEVER SAID THAT I WAS BRAVE

You might sleep, but you'll never dream
Onward! Progress! Or so it seems.
You might laugh, but you'll never smile.
Come on in and waste away awhile.

When dreams of rings of flowers fade and blur
Giving way to that familiar ill
come over and part your soft white curtains
Where I'm waiting for you still
If you'd unlatch the window,
If you'd let me lay there on your floor
If you'd give me another chance,
If you'd forget the pain I caused before
No use in saying how I'm sorry
So I'm trying not to speak
I'll sing in silence, lay beside you
With my face there on your cheek
My stomach swears there's comfort there
In the warmth of the blankets on your bed
My stomach's always been a liar-
I'll believe it's lies again.


10. (B)

(Instrumental)


11. SILENCER

Don't waste your lips on words I've heard before
Kiss my tired head.
And each letter written wastes your hand, young man
Come and lead me to your bed
You gave me hope that I'd not lost her
And then thought it rather strange to see me smile-
as I don't do too much smiling these days.

She put on happiness like a loose dress
Over pain I'll never know
"So the peace you had," she says,
"I must confess, I'm glad to see it go."
We're two white roses lying frozen just outside his door
I've made you so happy and so sad,
But which should I be more sorry for?

Come kiss my face goodbye,
that space below my eye and above my cheek
Cause I'm faint and fading fast, I see a darkness
And I shall be released.
I'll pass like a fever from this body,
And softly slip into his hands
I tried to love you and I failed,
But I have another plan.

My Lord, how long to sing this song?
And my Lord, how muchmore of this pretending to be strong?
When she stands before your throne
Dressed in beauty not her own
All soft and small, you'll hear her call
"you brought me here, now take me home."


12. THE CURE FOR PAIN

The cure for pain is in the pain,
so it's there that you'll find me.
Until again I forget,
and again he reminds me,
"Hear my voice in your head,
and think of me kindly."

Let me be, let me be..

Lowered down like a casket
and buried just below her chest.
"Whatever I was searching for,
it was never you," she says.
The record ended long ago,
we go on dancing nonetheless.

I opened like a locket,
"If you're ever cold," I wrote,
"there's warmth inside me.
I'm the pocket of an old winter coat."
But where she used to say "I need you."
Now...."I don't."

You'd only make the softest sound,
like sugar pouring into tea.
Darling let your Self pour down
and dissolve into the Love
who revealed himself there quietly to me...

(Jesus have mercy on us.)